Michael E. Golub, P.A.

How should I introduce my children to my new partner?

The divorce is over and you’re back in the dating scene. You’ve found someone whose company you enjoy but you aren’t sure how to tell your children. Are they ready to meet a new person in your life? It’s possible that you are worried that your children won't accept your new partner after a divorce.

Is there a right way to tell them?

Here are some helpful tips for when you decide to have the talk.

Give it time.

Just because you have begun to put your divorce in your rearview mirror doesn’t mean that your kids have. Gradually introducing them to a new person in your life can help them to process their emotions and give them time to discuss them with you. A slow approach may be able to prevent your children from resenting your new partner and create a comfortable environment for everybody involved.

Be careful with PDA.

As mentioned above it’s important to make sure that your kids are comfortable with your partner when you’re together. Showing public displays of affection early on may make your children uncomfortable. You want to show your kids that you respect their feelings. Keeping PDA to a minimum can also help to ease the shock factor your kids may feel when seeing you with a new person.

Be honest.

Your kids likely know what’s going on if one of your friends becomes a frequent overnight visitor at their home. Lying to your child about the status of your relationship could be upsetting for your kids. Of course that doesn’t mean that you have to tell them all at once but when you do it may be best to be forthcoming from the get-go.

Your kid may still be adjusting to the life changes post-divorce. They may be attending another school or living in a new home and coping with all of the changes can be difficult for kids. Introducing your new partner gradually and honestly can help ease the transition for your kids and the on your family when there is a change in dynamics.

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