Though you may think the phrase, “I can resist anything except temptation,” may be describing your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, it’s really just an example of an oxymoron. Along the lines of “act naturally,” “same difference” and “old news,” an oxymoron making recent headlines is “good divorce.”
To best define what a good divorce is, let’s begin with what a bad divorce is: Picture a couple returning to the courtroom for the umpteenth time, both dreading the abuse of hurled accusations. Courtroom battles between spouses can be long and bitter as they fight for assets and children. Divorce litigation can be:
- Time consuming: Litigation is NOT the quick way out.
- Expensive: With legal fees, time is money.
- Anger inducing: In a courtroom fight, tempers often flare.
- Unproductive: After a great deal of time, money and emotional hurt, it may become apparent that litigation isn’t the answer.
- Traumatic: The impact on children of a drawn-out fight between parents can be profound.
The new and improved divorce
Now, picture a couple that has agreed to resolve their issues outside of a courtroom. They will have the help of a neutral person who can keep the couple on task, offering suggestions along the way and helping to ensure clear communication as they work through dividing up the family’s assets and debts, discussing child support and drafting up a parenting plan that will help provide a healthy and stable environment for their children after the divorce. At the end, the couple will have an agreement that they both approve of and will honor. This is divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation benefits
In mediation, spouses meet with an independent mediator who is trained to facilitate the divorce process and help the parties arrive at an agreement that both can live with. The beauty of divorce mediation is that both parties keep control of the decision making—rather than a judge. The benefits are many, but it’s important to note that the benefits of mediation can extend beyond the spouses to friends and family as well. Some of these benefits include:
- Reduces the emotional toll: Mediation is less a legal competition and more cooperation.
- Reduces the expense: The legal fees are often greatly decreased.
- Improves communication: Often marriages dissolve with communication issues, so utilizing a solution that ensures good communication is ideal.
- Shortens the divorce process: When you both agree to meet with a mediator, you may be able to reduce the process from months to just a few sessions.
An experienced divorce attorney specializing in divorce mediation can help you to avoid the potentially catastrophic emotional and financial toll that often comes with divorce litigation.